This is a bit more of a deeper personal episode from me. We recently sold our dream home because, well we got a new dream! I got tonnes of questions about it from shocked family and friends so I thought it would be a helpful episode. 

All about examining what we really want from life, why we do what we do, how much is enough - you know, the small stuff 😜

I don't have to grind. I don't have to hustle. I don't have to sacrifice my health, my happiness daily, my relationships, my friendships, my time with my kids. I don't have to sacrifice that. I can be happy with what I've got and I can have this and that. And that's what I want to be able to have.

I hope it helps to spark a dream in you x

Tina Tower [00:00:00]:
Hi, friends, and welcome to episode 265 of her Empire Builder show. It is so great to be with you today. Today I am sharing with you a little bit of a deeper, more personal episode I just popped last week on my weekly newsletter that goes out to all of our email subscribers that we had bought and sold our house, like, in a 90 day wrap up kind of style. And I had so many emails back going, hang on, wait. What? What? Didn't you buy your dream house? Like, what is going on? And the answer is yes. When we bought our house four years ago, it was our absolute dream house. The plan was to buy this house. We love the land.

Main Episode

Tina Tower [00:00:49]:
We love where it's located to wait a year, knock it down, and build our, like, dream house on the block that has not, like, obviously, we didn't do the whole rebuild sort of thing, and we have a new dream. And so this is something that I wanted to share because I know that it can. You know, I hear people all the time getting stuck in their lives or saying, like, I'd love to do that, but, you know, we committed to this, so we've got to stick with this. The one thing, there's a lot of advantages and disadvantages to this personality trait that I have, but one of the personality traits that I have is if I can think of a better way to do something, if I can think of a way that I could be happier, that our lives could be enriched in some way, I will ditch a dream and get that new dream so fast. It's something that when I say it's a detriment, I have shaken up our lives probably a little too hastily at times. I know my husband would definitely say that. But the good part is, never have I ever sat in something for longer than a few months where I am not happy. If I'm not happy with my current situation, or I think that there's a better way to do it, I find the downside of that worse than the downside of change.

Tina Tower [00:02:17]:
And I know that a lot of people are really opposed to change and really uncomfortable with change. And, you know, there's a lot of things, like, I'm a creature of habit. I'm a creature of routine. Like, I was, I was telling we're going to Palm Springs in November with her empire build a retreat, and I was talking to a couple of our members and going, you know, I do the same thing when I fly. I fly. I try and sit in the exact same seat. I use the same bathroom stall when I'm at the lounge. I get on the flight.

Tina Tower [00:02:43]:
I get off the flight. I get the same hirever. I go to the hotel in West Hollywood. I do the same routine. I go there. I get off the flight at 07:00 a.m. i then park the car while the room's getting ready. I go to the grove, where I look around the shops, because I love the grove shops.

Tina Tower [00:03:02]:
And then when my room is ready, I get that text. I go back to the hotel, I go up to the pool, and I have a little swim to freshen up after the flight. I have myself a nice cocktail while looking out over Los Angeles, write in my journal for a little bit. Then I go down, get into these beds that are like clouds, and then I watch Netflix for the rest of the day until it is like 830. And then I go to sleep. Then I wake up the next morning, and then I drive to Palm Springs. I do the exact same thing every time. So when I say I love change, I'm not like, you know, totally reckless, fast and loose.

Tina Tower [00:03:33]:
I like a lot of routine, but big change doesn't scare me. Big change I actually find quite exciting. And so that is what we have done. This will be our 19th move in. Sorry, this will be our 11th move in 19 years. And so I got those numbers around the wrong way. 11th move in 19 years. So we have moved around quite a bit.

Tina Tower [00:04:01]:
But in my mind, we've only had four homes. So a lot of what we've done in between have been, like one year stepping stones. Like when we couldn't afford our mortgage and we had to go rent for a bit. Or when we came back from traveling and we got a basic house while we were looking for the dream house kind of thing. So a lot of those moves have been little interim things, but we've had, like, four main homes. And so I want to share with you today why we've made the decision to sell our dream house. Let's get to it. Hello and welcome to her Empire Builder show.

Tina Tower [00:04:38]:
I'm your business strategist and host, Cheena Tower, and I am so happy you are here. My goal with this show is to bring you the inspirational and informative conversations with interesting humans, as well as the tools, tips, and resources to help you build your online business. Since I started my first business at 20, I have built and sold four times. And in 2018, while I was traveling around the world with my family for a year, I tripped and fell into this wonderful world of online courses, and I instantly fell in love. I'm a million dollar course creator, a world traveler, bestselling author, a mummer of two man children and a lucky wife. There's no playing small here. It's your turn to grow to run a highly profitable business that makes you wildly wealthy while you positively impact your clients and the world around you and of course, have that dream life that's perfectly aligned with you. Let's get it.

Tina Tower [00:05:38]:
Okay. So I think the only way that I can really start this properly is to kind of talk about what led, like, the prelude to the decision. Because while I made the decision quite quickly with a lot of things that we make big decisions with, it's like, been percolating in the back of our minds for a while, right? And so the last couple of years have been probably more transformative for me as a human than anything I've had since I left home. There has been a lot, you know, when, when I first left home, I was in this mad rush to prove myself, probably as a, well, definitely as a result of my childhood, I had a lot of prove energy. I felt like I wasn't worth all of that much. And I had this insane, insatiable need to prove my worth through achievement and be like, look, see, I can do something good. Like, I'm a good girl. Like, I can, I can achieve, like, I can do this.

Tina Tower [00:06:38]:
And so all of my twenties and most of my thirties were spent sprinting in the direction of more sprinting in the direction of, let's see how big I can go. Let's see what this can. Like, what am I actually made of? Where is the edge of my potential? Like, let's go. A lot of push energy. A lot of desperate energy. And then when I got to my mid thirties, so I sold my last company at 33. And then after that, I vowed I would never work like that again. I got to the stage with my last company where, you know, I couldn't remember a time where I didn't feel nauseous.

Tina Tower [00:07:21]:
I couldn't remember a time where my hands weren't a little bit shaky and clammy. I'd gained a lot of weight. I was drinking a lot of alcohol, and it was really, really detrimental for my health. I wasn't showing up as the wife I wanted to be, as the mum I wanted to be like it was. It was the last couple of years of running that company were rough and I was on this freight train where there wasn't many options to get off without serious ramifications. And a lot of the time I'm like, you know, if you want to change your life, just go ahead and change it. And there's different things that are like, yeah, I, you know, the consequences of that are not going to be that severe. But I was in the situation where I know a lot of people get to in their lives where the consequences would have been huge.

Tina Tower [00:08:05]:
We would have had to lose our house the way we had it. We would have had to, like, Matt would have had to, my husband would have gone back to work. Like, there would have been a lot of dominoes that fell. I also was in a franchise, so I couldn't legally, like, undo that. I had obligations to other people, so the only option was to sell. And so that happened. And I promised myself I would never get myself into that situation again. And so I've been pretty good with that.

Tina Tower [00:08:33]:
I have never worked to that level and capacity before. I have, while still sometimes unrealistic expectations on myself. They're not as unrealistic as what they were back then. So I started her empire builder, like my online business in 2017, and it was always designed to just be this beautiful thing that I did on the side while I wrote romance novels. That was the plan. I was going to be more present around the home. I was just going to take it easy. I had done my hard slog, and now I was going for something different.

Tina Tower [00:09:14]:
However, when we sold our last company, we sold it for a lot of money, but we didn't sell it for fuck off money. So what I mean by that is I had a mentor once that explained fuck off money as, like, the amount of money that you could say fuck off to absolutely anything because you had enough money to be able to do that. And so for me, we didn't have that level yet. We had set ourselves up really beautifully. We could have been really careful and lived really frugally for the rest of our life and never had to work again. But, you know, a good life costs money. And this is the thing, like, a lot of people that say money doesn't buy happiness. I'm like, have you tried being broke? Like, that's not fun.

Tina Tower [00:09:57]:
You know what's fun? Being able to go on vacation with your family, being able to get healthcare, being able to save your dog's life when they're sick, being able to help people out when they're in need. Like, money buys a lot of things that make me happy. And so I wanted to be able to create more money. And when I got into online businesses and I saw, now, don't get me wrong, online business is not easy, but it is so easy compared to traditional business. And so when I, like, had a go and went, wow, this is so much more leveraged and scalable than anything I have ever done in my whole business career. And prior to that, I've ran retail stores, I've done wholesale, I've done online e commerce, I've done so many different things. And this was like a revelation with how cool and good and leveraged it was and what a win win situation, because you've always got, like, customers that are getting what they want when they want it, and they're stoked, and then you're delivering in this way that is so scalable that you can impact so many people at one time. So I feel a little bit too in love with it, probably.

Tina Tower [00:11:09]:
And I lost it being a side gig. I lost it being something that worked in the way that, you know, I could dip in and out of and I could accelerate when I wanted to accelerate. And then I could, you know, take it easy for a month or two. I built another machine, I built another business that constantly required me, that constantly required all of this effort and that I was on this train, that I was like, oh, no, oops, I did it again. And, you know, we have this way that that's our way, and that seems to be my way, is I get in, I get carried away. One thing leads to another, and I'm like, like, oh, no, I got myself in that situation again. And so I started feeling that in the last couple of years, and there's a couple of different options when you feel like, you know, shit's getting out of hand. And one of those is to hire more help.

Tina Tower [00:12:04]:
And so a lot of what I did in 2023 was even the latter part of 2022. I kind of started about November 2022. I was like, all right, new plan. Let's hire some really smart people so that they can take a little bit of the pressure off my shoulders and some decision making so that I can get more of the life back that I vowed to live. One of the things that I'm talking about all my personality traits now I'm going personal with you today. Another personality trait that I have that if you're a regular listener of the podcast, you do know is I don't love managing people. I love setting up systems. Love it.

Tina Tower [00:12:42]:
But then once I've set up the systems and how everything works, and I've done all my manuals and I've explained everything in videos and everything's on checklists there, if I have to check back on those checklists and things are marked as done and they're not done, or if they're not done, and I'm like, hey, why didn't this get done? Because, you know, that's what happens every Wednesday or something like that drives me freaking crazy. I hate managing day to day stuff. It's enough to just manage myself. I don't like managing other people. And so that presented a problem because I don't like micromanaging. So I trust people a lot. I'm like, here's everything. Like, here's everything you need.

Tina Tower [00:13:21]:
Is there anything else? Like, does everything make sense? Run with it. Go forth and conquer. And so last year, I was, my ratio of wages got up to about 35% of revenue. And so it started really eating into the profit level. And I was looking at that and going, what was happening about mid to late 2023? I still wasn't getting all of that extra time. I had given it all, like nine months and was going, all right, so my profit is down, but my time is not down. And so I would love to buy more time back, but it's not seeming to work, and I think it's a me problem. And so I was working with a fantastic coach who I've spoken about on the podcast before, Barrett Brooks.

Tina Tower [00:14:08]:
In all the coaches I've worked with across all the years, like, he's the best coach I've ever worked with. He's absolutely phenomenal at the, like, helping you figure out what you really want and who you really are and all the deep questions of life kind of thing. And really, I went to him because I was trying to figure out how big do I really want to go and what is enough for me, and is this a problem that I can work on and get better at being a leader and learn to love managing people, or do I need to change the shape of my business so that it works for my strengths instead of having to learn new ones and just goes with my natural tendencies. And so I worked a lot with him last year in 2023, and a lot started shifting with that. When we're looking at, you know, why we do what we do and looking at all of the goals and going, well, why is that a goal? Like, why do you want that? And so one of the things, like, to loop it back into the actual topic of this podcast, one of the things that, that I was really examining was we were looking at building our new house, and I got quotes to build the new house, and it was going to be between a two and $3 million build for the home which is a bucket ton of money to spend on a house. But, you know, I was like, well, I'm 40, and hopefully we'll live there for the rest of our lives. So if we live there for 60 years, and then it's a legacy home to be passed down, like, you know, that that's okay. Like, that all works out.

Tina Tower [00:15:36]:
And do we not earn money so that we can buy nice things? You know, that was my thinking at the time. But then when we actually felt into it and was like, okay, so we've built this beautiful home. I wanted to build, like, this u shaped compound house that had six en suite bedrooms in it. And the plan was, my kids always had a place to come and their families, when they have their families later in life, and I could have all my grandkids in this big bunk room together. And then when we're old, that there would always be rooms for my friends to come and live because I don't want to live in a nursing home when I'm old. I don't want to live alone when I'm old. And so I was like, anyone whose husbands die can all come live together. That was the plan.

Tina Tower [00:16:22]:
But when we looked at that, I'm like, that's a long way away. Like, if we're lucky and we have a long life, like, that's a long way away. That's a lot of money that I'll be paying between now and then for that later plan of when I'm, like, 75, you know, that's nearly double the life that I've lived so far. So that was playing into it. And then I was going. So for bulk of it, what are we going to be doing sitting in this McMansion all by ourselves, like, the two of us, Matt and I? Do we really need that? Do we really want that? And then we were talking to the kids, like, we went away. We take a month off every Christmas. And so we went away, and we were chatting a lot about life and where they want their lives to go.

Tina Tower [00:17:07]:
And my kids are starting to really get solidified in their plans for the future, which is really beautiful to watch. It breaks my heart massively, you know, I'm rewatching. I'll segue here. I'm rewatching modern family at the moment with my 15 year old. And we were watching it, and the other night, like, an episode came on where Jay was talking about parenting. Jay is the grandpa. If you haven't watched Modern Family, I highly recommend it. It's a beautiful, beautiful show.

Tina Tower [00:17:36]:
But we were watching it. And he had this analogy for parenting, and, look, I'm not going to nail it, but you'll get the gist. And he said, like, parenting is beautiful and brutal. You know, you get this baby, and it's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen, and you hold it in your arms and you're just in awe of how beautiful this human being is that you made. And then this baby turns into a toddler, and you don't really take a moment to miss the baby because it happened so slowly before your eyes. And that baby was replaced with a new childhood, a child that became this toddler that waddles around and runs where its body is going faster than its legs, and it's tripping over its feet and it's waddling and it's giggling its little head off when you tickle it and blow raspberries on its tummy. All of these, I'm adding lib here. I'm adding my own bits into what Jay said.

Tina Tower [00:18:29]:
This is me thinking about my toddlers. But then the toddlers, they turn into these real little people when they start school. And you don't get a moment to really miss and grieve that toddler because they're replaced with these people that are inquisitive and curious and asking you all of these questions about life and trying to work it all out. And then they become teenagers. And teenagers bring this whole new version of this person, which is, you know, trying to work out who they are in the world and where they fit and what they believe and all of these massive things that you don't really get a chance to grieve and missed the child before until they leave home. And then all at once, all of those versions of your child walk out the door at the same time. And you can never even remember. When was the last time that they said to you, pick me up, mama, carry me.

Tina Tower [00:19:32]:
I mean, I know I can't even remember the last time I carried my child. And hilariously, last night, I was telling the boys this when we're having dinner and they're. And they turned around at me and they're like, pick me up, mama. I'm five foot one. My younger son is the tallest one. He is five foot ten already at 15, and the other one's five'nine. And I picked them up and carried them. But to me, that was just, you know, so poignant and such a beautiful description of what it feels like to be a parent and how beautiful and heartbreaking it can be.

Tina Tower [00:20:12]:
And I am so happy that I've made such beautiful boys and they're so independent and they're so kind and smart and funny and lovely and they're really finding their way in the world. And there's a couple of times that I kind of wish I'd made useless, independent, useless, dependent men so that they'd never leave. But Kai, my older one, his plan is as soon as he finishes high school to get a scholarship in America and go and play golf for college there and then to hopefully become a golfer, that is his plan. And if that fails, because obviously it's very competitive and there's not many people that make it all the way. He has plan b. Plan c of he always wants to work in the golf industry. So if he doesn't do that, wants to study law as well and maybe become an agent or sell golf clubs or become a coach or anything that he does, it'll be in the golf industry at this stage. So obviously they can still change their mind and they still might change their mind, but at the moment it looks like he's going far, far away.

Tina Tower [00:21:16]:
And Cohen, who is my younger one, has always been such a free spirit. He loves traveling and he, I have no doubt he's going to pick up a backpack and disappear into the world for a couple of years as soon as he is able. But he'll probably finish school at this stage. It looks like he'll finish school at the end of next year. So end of year ten, he wants to become an electrician and become a sparky and do that and do his apprenticeship and then have his own business doing electrical work. And so they both want to, like, fly free. And I'm so proud of them and so happy for them for that. But it fed back into this conversation that Matt and I were having in going.

Tina Tower [00:21:57]:
So we always thought our kids would be close, and I don't know why we always thought our kids would be close. I mean, we live 2 hours north of Sydney. Like, it's not like we live in a bustling area. So we're going, well, if we're going to be alone and that's coming in hot, what do we want this next chapter of our lives to look at? And we did everything quite early. Like, we moved out. I was 19 when we moved in together and I started my business when I was 20. We got married when I was 21. I had a kid at 24 and another at 25.

Tina Tower [00:22:29]:
And so I never really, I was never foot loose and fancy free. I always, like, piled responsibility on my shoulders like bricks my whole life and then ran with them as fast and as hard as I possibly could. And the thought of being able to take a breath from that or choose something different, because all of those blocks that were weighing me down, I could literally just lift off my shoulders, place them on the ground, and just walk away. Like that was like a real revelation for me to feel into of what that would feel like. And one of the things that, you know, I interviewed Derek Sivers earlier this year on the podcast, and he was talking about possible futures. If you haven't listened to that podcast episode, it's probably one of the longest that I've ever put out. I think it went for like 2 hours, maybe longer. But he's amazing, and he was talking about possible futures, and I took that for a run and went, all right, if we, like, imagine all of these possible futures for ourselves, let's really feel into them and go, okay, current plan.

Tina Tower [00:23:38]:
If we do that and spend all that money building our house, what's that going to look like? And I ran the numbers on it, and I would not pay off our mortgage at the current rate that I'm working until I'm 58 years old, which isn't so bad. But also, I was like, oh, that's a long time. Do I want to be working at the rate that I'm working for that long? Or, like, are there going to be other business opportunities that are going to come along that are going to be able to make money in an even more leveraged way? Like, that's always a possibility. Possibility, too. But looking at the current state of what we have and how much money we draw from the business and what we were going to spend on the build and the furniture, all the things and the upkeep and everything that we need to put into our retirement savings. It would take to 58 until we were like, okay, we're done. Because my line, you know, people say as you grow older, like, the line constantly moves. The finish line constantly moves.

Tina Tower [00:24:36]:
My finish line has actually never moved. So I wrote, when I was 18, I went to Anthony Robbins for the first time, and I wrote what I wanted to do in my life, what my ideal life would look like. It is still actually the exact same, the amount of money I want to earn. I know I need $5 million in free and clear investments to be able to draw my 300,000 a year for the rest of my life, that will be able to buy me my ideal life and then some. I'll be able to support all the charities that I want to be able to support. I'll be able to look after our kids and help them out how I want to. Matt and I will be able to travel. We'll be able to live like, we can do everything that we want to do on that money forever and never run out.

Tina Tower [00:25:18]:
And so that line has never changed for me. But in between that, I always thought, like, I would live in this. You know, when I was in my twenties, I was like, I'm going to live in a $10 million home. I'm going to have five investment properties. I'm going to have a yacht. I'm going to have all these things of which, as I've gotten older, I just found I don't care. I don't want that. And that was surprising to 20 year old me, but I want the time and the freedom and the life, not necessarily the things.

Tina Tower [00:25:50]:
And so we looked at that as a possible future. We looked at living overseas, we looked at a whole different bunch of possible futures. And what we had decided was what makes us the happiest and what the ideal life was. At the end of the road, we were like. Like, instead of waiting until 60 to do that, why not do it? Like, in three years, when the kids have finished school, when they're both moved out, or if they haven't moved out, they can just stay in our house, but they no longer need parental supervision. Like, what if we just do it then? What if we don't wait? And as we were percolating on this and having these conversations, there has been so much, so many people going through so many difficult things that we know. We've known a few different friends that have had cancer. A few of them have passed away.

Tina Tower [00:26:41]:
People in, like, forties, fifties, sixties, like, way too young, getting ill and dying. And I have always prided myself on living a life with no regrets on going. It doesn't matter. Like, my plan is to live until I'm 104. However, if that doesn't happen, I know that on my deathbed, or if I don't get a chance to have a deathbed at my funeral, everyone could say, she gave it a red hot go. Anything she wanted to do, she did. She wasn't scared. There's no regrets there.

Tina Tower [00:27:11]:
And so for me, I'm like, we have this beautiful life that we live. Why not live it more fully? Like, why not really milk it for all we can? And choose easy, choose happy, choose simple. And so one of the things we were looking around at, we looked at very basic houses, of which I am not ashamed to say there was a level I could not go to going, okay, we could go to this, which would give us, like, our retirement fund straight away and just, like, call it a day. And I was like, mm mm, mm mm. No, there's, like, rotted out polls and differently. I'm like, no, I mean, have you looked at what a million dollars buys you in the housing market now? It ain't pretty. So we were looking around anyway. We found a house that we were like, this is ideal.

Tina Tower [00:28:00]:
The kids wanted to be close to the beach. Matt wanted to be close to the beach. We have bought a new house that is 1 km away from our existing house. So in the exact same neighborhood. But instead of being on two and a half acres, we will be on a 500 square meter block, but in a five bedroom house with a really beautiful view that looks out. You can see the water in the distance, and you just walk over the hill and you're on the beach. And so really, really beautiful. But it means that we can have such less maintenance.

Tina Tower [00:28:28]:
I mean, we've lived on acreage since 2013, so for eleven years, which has been so dreamy. McDreamy. To bring our kids up in this environment, like, just. I couldn't have imagined a more beautiful, like, upbringing for them with all of the space and all of the grass for them to run around and ride their bikes. And we've got a half pipe and a tennis court and all of the different things that they can play on. And so our backyard has been very, very utilized. But now, like, they're too old for that. They want to get out and live their own lives.

Tina Tower [00:29:00]:
And so this way, we're able to just close the door, lock it, and travel so much more, which is absolutely what we want. And so prior to this, we had already started shedding a lot of things. Like, I started changing a lot of my clothes and getting rid of them. I started decluttering a lot of things. I really have been focusing on my health for the last couple of years, and this year I have lost a lot of weight. And I feel like a lot of things, I'm just lifting off my shoulders and popping them on the ground going, does that really matter to us? And for a lot of things, the answer was no. When I really looked at it and I was going, like, who am I doing this for? What am I doing? There's an old saying that is, you know, we spend our whole lives working for things that we want to be able to afford to impress people that don't really matter to us. And a lot of that.

Tina Tower [00:29:53]:
Like, I've never really worried about what other people think. But what I did worry was my perception of self. And in my mind, I valued my own self worth by the things that I had, what I could create, how much money I could earn, and the tokens of that. Like, I remember, I think it was 20. 1314. I bought a BMW, which was my first, like, pretty, pretty car. And nobody else knew I bought a BMW. I didn't share it with anybody.

Tina Tower [00:30:23]:
It wasn't something I made public. It was just for me. And when I got into that car, like, this is something that, you know, people may judge me for, but, yeah, I'm a human being, like, everybody. And I felt like I was the shit. I was, like, driving down the road. I'm like, this is a sexy car. Like, I did it. It was a Hallmark to me.

Tina Tower [00:30:40]:
That was, like, proof that I had created something that made enough money that could buy me that Cardinal. And that was important to me then. Now it's not so important. I mean, I still like the things I like. I drive a beautiful Tesla now. And that car's probably going to do, like, I'll drive that until it dies, like, hopefully for the next 1020 years. I love the car, but I don't need a new car. And so a lot of these things that I've just shedded giving a shit about.

Tina Tower [00:31:07]:
And I think it's a combination of my kids growing up and looking at life after that and, and also being able to go, how do we want to live the best now? And really looking at how the business model can fund the life we want and provide the life we want. And for me, I don't think I will ever not work. I think I love working. I love having an idea and creating that idea and sending it out into the world and knowing that it's helping people. But there's a lot of different things that I want to do, and I can do most of what I do from a laptop. And so now I have this amazing team of Vas. So I forego, forego for went. Hmm, don't know what that word is.

Tina Tower [00:31:56]:
I let go of all of the in person, very highly paid team that I had in April this year and moved to a VA team, which suits my personality much better because systems driven. So a lot of it is systems driven. We can check in with each other once a day, and it actually is easier to manage for me than people that were a lot more highly qualified, highly expertise in their field, weirdly right, but everyone's got to find what works for their own personality. And so with that, the combination of all of that happening, and I turned 40 in January, which I think also, you know, for a lot of. A lot of what I was working for in the twenties and thirties, I was like, was towards this dream of later. This is all going to be worth it later because of the life that we will get to live later. And I think a part of what turning 40 did for me was going, like, I remember the day after I turned 40 and I went on the peloton, and if anyone has a peloton, if you don't, I'll, like, explain it. So you've got your name there, and then underneath it says, like, like, tina in her thirties, and it switched to Tina in her forties.

Tina Tower [00:33:09]:
And I was like, oh, well, that. That happened fast. You know, like that, oh, welcome. Welcome. And to me, it just kind of signified this. Later is coming in hot. Like, later is like, hopefully we have a long time, but also, like, later is nearly upon us. It happens really, really quickly.

Tina Tower [00:33:29]:
And I want to live in my back end of my forties, what most people did in their early twenties, but this time with money. We want to go and live on the spanish coast for a year. We want to go and live in Palm Springs for a year. We want to travel around and work on the side and run our businesses and live. And so that is what we're going to do. Because you can build epic success. Like, I saw the other day, a friend of mine was talking about, like, building the most wildly successful business, and how big can you go and then take what that big is and then double it and go for that? And there was a. Was such a big phase of my life where that's all I thought about, and that's all I wanted to do.

Tina Tower [00:34:08]:
And I think that until you have enough, that is what you're driven by. But I'm now in the super privileged position. Like, the privilege is not lost on me for a second, but I'm in the super privileged position where I have enough and I can go, you know, I can see how I'm working here. Like, we have the dream, and if we just keep plugging away at this, like, we're home and hosed, we're done, we're comfy, we have everything we want. And I could be more successful. I could build my business to $10 million a year. But at what cost? And this is a lot of what helped us, made the decision, was I was looking at all different potential futures and going all of the different versions of success that we hold and trying to figure out what is the true version of success to you. If you truly look at it with you in your heart of hearts, in your core of, core of your soul, and forget all the bullshit that we're sold and all of the pursuit of more, what does that actually look like and feel like? And if we go for whatever our version of success is, what will that cost us? Because everything comes at a cost.

Tina Tower [00:35:23]:
Everything is a cost. Everything you have to sacrifice for and make trade offs for. And I was looking at it going, the cost of what I do now, I love. I love my life. I get to do work with really great humans. I get to have this really beautiful balance. And if I was to accelerate again and more, I have to lose some of that. And I'm not willing to lose some of that because I've found my sweet spot.

Tina Tower [00:35:49]:
And this is what I think. Everyone has their own different sweet spot. Everyone has, like, their, you know, comfort level, their set point, if you like. And I am at my set point, and you can always change your set point. You can always double it. You can always ten x it if you want, but at what cost? And there were times of my life that I was like, the success is worth it. And I am so glad I did it. I am so glad I pushed.

Tina Tower [00:36:14]:
I am so glad that I sacrificed everything that I sacrificed because it's given me what I have now, but now it's changing. That habit of going, I don't have to do that anymore. I don't have to grind. I don't have to hustle. I don't have to sacrifice my health, my happiness daily, my relationships, my friendships, my time with my kids. I don't have to sacrifice that. I can be happy with what I've got, and I can have this and that, and that's what I want to be able to have. I want financial security, I want financial freedom, but I want a life well lived, not just when I'm old, but the entire way through.

Tina Tower [00:36:53]:
And so that's why we made the decision to sell our dream home. We looked at if we sold that, we no longer have a big ass mortgage. We can live really easily. We can live really freely. I can still keep doing the work that I do without having the need to grow. I can still have my business ideas on the side. Like, we're starting a new business in, like, three weeks. It launches and then got another one starting early 2025, that I'm starting with a business partner.

Tina Tower [00:37:21]:
Like I'm not, like, stopping the ambition, but it's coming from a very different place. It's coming from a much calmer place previously. So, see how I just said we're starting a new business in early 2025. I would have been like, it must start now. Do everything now. Like, just keep going. Whereas now I'm like, it can fit in later. Someone asked me to do something in 2025.

Tina Tower [00:37:43]:
I'm like, my schedule's already full. I'm done. I'm not committing to anything else. Like, I'm there. And so that is. That is why. Because I wanted to be a bit more selfish in my life and make myself a little bit more happy and live a bit simpler. In terms of this year, 2024, I have spent more time with my kids than I have since they were little.

Tina Tower [00:38:07]:
So I was their primary parent until they were five. And then Matt and I switched, and I ramped up with work, and he became a stay at home dad. And since that point, I haven't spent as much time with them as what I have this year. I have been with them every afternoon. We've gone away for weekends. We've gone away for weeks at a time. Tomorrow, I'm taking Kai away for a golf camp for five days together. And next year, we've got.

Tina Tower [00:38:32]:
We're going to India, just me and my two sons, for a week. And, like, I just want that before they're gone because it will end. And just like the analogy that J on modern family said, like, they will walk out my door and I will be heartbroken. I will be very, very excited for the next chapter of life, and I'm really pumped. Like, I'm super lucky. I really like my husband, and we're gonna have a really fun back end of life together. But that doesn't take away from. I loved being a mom.

Tina Tower [00:39:06]:
I've loved every second of it, and I am devastated that that part is nearly over. I know that you're never, ever. And I talk to mums, a lot of adult children, and they're like, you know, they always need you and you're always there, but it's not the same. And I'm really happy for them and proud of them, but I will miss them like crazy. I miss them already. I'm nearly on the verge of tears just thinking about it, and so I don't want to miss any of that. It's most important for me to be present and be there. And so I guess the lesson for this, like, hopefully, as I was talking, different things came up for you.

Tina Tower [00:39:43]:
But one of the reasons I wanted to share it is to give you permission to get a new dream. If you are in the situation now where you think there's a better way to live, whatever that may be, if that's going to be better for your soul, if it's going to make you a happier human, because happy humans are kind of humans. We're more generous. We're like, we're better to be around that. If. If more people were happy, then it would solve a lot of the world's problems. And so if you can make yourself happier, maybe that's the right thing to do. Or even take a leaf out of Derek Sivas book and journal for a bit and go, what are the possible futures that I'm thinking of, and what are the ramifications of actually changing direction? Because sometimes they're huge.

Tina Tower [00:40:32]:
Like, it took me two years by the time I wanted to get out of my last company to the time that I was out. It took me a long time to unravel that. This one, I had the idea in, like, the actual idea where I was like, we're gonna do this. That was in June and July. We sold July. We bought our new house, and we sold our house in September, and we move in November. And so, you know, things can happen quickly when you want them to, but we change through life. Just because you've always had a dream doesn't mean that's the dream that you should be clinging to.

Tina Tower [00:41:10]:
Maybe it is, though. Maybe you're like, everything that I've talked about, you're like, I'm on the right track. Like, my dream is solid. I am right where I should be right now, and that's a beautiful thing. But if you're not, then give yourself permission to explore possible futures, explore alternate realities, and. And boldly, bravely go in the direction of your dream, whatever that is, for the next chapter of your life. You can change direction at any time that you choose. Have a beautiful day, my friend.

Tina Tower [00:41:42]:
This episode was brought to you by my signature group coaching program, her empire builder. The best online education for female course creators in the world. Check it out at along with so many free resources to help you get building your empire and seeing those results that you deserve. If you loved this episode, please don't keep it a secret. Share it with a friend on social media and tag me @tina_tower and give it a review. It really does help us to be able to bring you bigger and better content as we grow. Have the most beautiful day. I'm Tina Tower and I'm cheering you on all the way.